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"Look," she said, "Yeah, I'm a whore, and a proud one. But, he's a crooked cop. And, she's a cheatin' spouse. Now, among the four of us which two do you think is the most deserving of being embarrassed?" I looked her askance. "You know, you're right," I said, "but it doesn't make their attitudes any less hurtful." "No, it doesn't. But, get over it. It is what it is and that ain't much," she said. "Yeah, okay," I said. They left before us. As they passed our table, which was inevitable, Lily. You havenone of that to define your self esteem and since you've always definedpower and self esteem around those attributes you have always had a lowopinion of those who did not have all or even some of those attributes -particularly women. But now you are one. You have a soft weak voiceand a small frame. Where you had large chest muscles now you have largesupple breasts. Where your body once had balls and a penis now you havea vagina. With these you used to be the aggressor controlling. My family had abandoned me and my girlfriendwas on her way to Florida. I felt like a lost soul. "So, Katie calledhere?" Dr. Burke asked."I guess so," I say. "I really don't know. I was such a mess I don'treally know what happened. I am not completely sure what time this allhappened. Debbie just nods her head and scribbles some notes. As I amrelaying the story I feel Jenny release my hand but take it with herother and her free arm now wraps around my waist. I then begin to tellDebbie. I had just stepped out of the shower when the phone rang and it was Denise and she wanted to know if I would go shopping with her that afternoon. I had nothing better to do so I agreed and I dressed and picked up Denise at her apartment and we drove down to the mall. We shopped for hours picking out some new blouses and matching skirts, a couple of dresses and, against my better judgment; she even talked me into buying some new bras and panties at Victoria's Secret. I wasn't sure that I would.
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