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Then I decided to take flowers and halwa home and tell her this news by surprising her.I reached home at 6 pm and handed the sweets and flowers to her.Mom: What’s special today? Why do you bring these all?Me: I will tell you in bed. I want you to wear a traditional saree with these flowers.Mom: I think you’re planning something big today. Ok, let’s discuss it in bed. I want to discuss two important things with you.I asked: What do you want to discuss with me, mom?Then she said: You’re not going. I ran three times a week and still lifted weights when I could. She was slightly overweight and flabby. Yet there was a delicateness that I had never experienced before. It was a sense of fragility and vulnerability that went unnoticed in my masculine self. Yet it was so evident in this form. I could only relate the feeling to being a small child in the company of strangers. It engendered a need for comfort, familiarity and human warmth.Once in an acting class in college we had an. Music was and is my life. We all have a personal soundtrack to our lives. We're almost always within listening distance of a radio, CD, Ipod, some guy in the park with a slightly out of tune guitar, or a live band.A song will start playing and you think, "That's what was playing at my sisters' wedding, my uncles' funeral, while I lost my virginity, or when she dumped me, when I found out I was going to be a father, etc." Music and memories are so intertwined we take them for granted. We don't. However, if you really cannot bring yourself to do this, I will inform my partner and we will go on from there." It was my chance to back out, but if I took it, how would dad manage to remove the invitation? I wasn't old enough to get married, I wasn't attached, and eventually dad's "daughter" would have to appear in person, even if I did say no to being a debutante. Our families would certainly meet, and I would have to be a girl anyway. I had the keys to the dilemma in my hand, all I.
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