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I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even. She is literally captivating!She said Paul told her to arrive at the club in town around seven pm the next Saturday so I told her we would collect her from her flat in time. We said our goodbyes and I kissed her saying how much I was looking forward to seeing her next weekend and especially on stage at the club.The week went by and Rihanna texted me a few times. By Friday she was saying how nervous she was and I had to reassure her she would be fine. Saturday afternoon arrived, Martin picked up. ”“I know, Juss, I lost it when you confessed and, well, moving back to Sandmouth Bay and having that respite away from poor Ann and Mother ... You know, I feel have a new perspective on life—”“What, do you have a new man in your—?”“No, nothing like that, Juss, it’s only that I’m building new friendships and, well, now I just want to be able to right a few wrongs. Look, I would like you to ask Hector if he could do me a favour —”“Anything, honey, he feels just as bad about this as I do.”“Hector. The lizards would take cash or accept a ride for her favors’. Oh yes it was clear to see that a lot of amphetamines and other drugs were being sold here. Because of its location and the rednecks that flocked to this place the original building, the original gas station, sold bad-ass T-shirts with skulls and confederate flags on them. In fact the largest bare wall of the outside of the building had the lone star state flag painted on it and looking at its state it had been done at least twenty.
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